Been a long time since I have blogged I must say, was kinda missing all the drama that I unleash when I blog. In the days that followed after my last blog a lot of things happened, some good some bad some not even worth mentioning and some that can't be mentioned.
Well for starters I had my very own first birthday party ever ( How did it end ? Don't ask ! )
Made some solid friendship that I pray everyday to last forever
Some turbulent romances ( I am so dead when my sister reads this and relays to my mom )
Graduated ( much to my surprise since I thought my cuisine dish was horrible , pastry on the other hand is my favorite so no surprise there )
Secured an internship which hopefully will lead to a full on job
And something else truly magical that I don't really know how to explain, well its probably more like I don't want to think of the words to explain out of fear that I might miss savoring that magic for even a heartbeat. As impossible as that fantasy might be I am a dreamer after all
Sitting with the walls cocooning me while I try to recover my lost strength to return to work with full force tomorrow, I finally realized the capacity of my destructive nature that wells up when I have nothing to do.
What did I attempt do ? Well I'll never tell. But rest assured I did not pull the prank so I am not going to be exiled !
Today for some reason the uncontrollable sadness, that I felt during the period I was mourning the loss of this great man so dear to everyone who knew him, returned with shattering magnitude . I think of him everyday but today it was intense and as much as I wanted to talk to someone I did not have the strength to. Why did it return ? I do not know.
Usually whenever I am sad I go to this 'deck' near my apartment ( actually half an hour away ) and just stand and visualize the sea in front me. This secret hideout which was my solace of solitude was discovered by people eventually and was flocked. Yet whenever there are no chances of people turning up there ( for example a heavy downpour ) I go there and I must say at that minute when body recognizes the existence of soul, a warmth despite the cold rain spreads with full glory from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Sure there is a cemetery down bellow the deck but hey it is a reminder of the great circle of life ( and yes I am quoting The Lion King here ) Today however I couldn't go to my haven of peace and comfort since I am ill and there would've been a lot of people there anyway.
But still sometimes I wonder is there more to life than just this ? Will I be able to experience everything that life has intended for me ? And a vague answer creeps up saying if life weren't this beastly and mysterious it wouldn't be so beautiful !
Well for starters I had my very own first birthday party ever ( How did it end ? Don't ask ! )
Made some solid friendship that I pray everyday to last forever
Some turbulent romances ( I am so dead when my sister reads this and relays to my mom )
Graduated ( much to my surprise since I thought my cuisine dish was horrible , pastry on the other hand is my favorite so no surprise there )
Secured an internship which hopefully will lead to a full on job
And something else truly magical that I don't really know how to explain, well its probably more like I don't want to think of the words to explain out of fear that I might miss savoring that magic for even a heartbeat. As impossible as that fantasy might be I am a dreamer after all
Sitting with the walls cocooning me while I try to recover my lost strength to return to work with full force tomorrow, I finally realized the capacity of my destructive nature that wells up when I have nothing to do.
What did I attempt do ? Well I'll never tell. But rest assured I did not pull the prank so I am not going to be exiled !
Today for some reason the uncontrollable sadness, that I felt during the period I was mourning the loss of this great man so dear to everyone who knew him, returned with shattering magnitude . I think of him everyday but today it was intense and as much as I wanted to talk to someone I did not have the strength to. Why did it return ? I do not know.
Usually whenever I am sad I go to this 'deck' near my apartment ( actually half an hour away ) and just stand and visualize the sea in front me. This secret hideout which was my solace of solitude was discovered by people eventually and was flocked. Yet whenever there are no chances of people turning up there ( for example a heavy downpour ) I go there and I must say at that minute when body recognizes the existence of soul, a warmth despite the cold rain spreads with full glory from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Sure there is a cemetery down bellow the deck but hey it is a reminder of the great circle of life ( and yes I am quoting The Lion King here ) Today however I couldn't go to my haven of peace and comfort since I am ill and there would've been a lot of people there anyway.
But still sometimes I wonder is there more to life than just this ? Will I be able to experience everything that life has intended for me ? And a vague answer creeps up saying if life weren't this beastly and mysterious it wouldn't be so beautiful !
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