The Dirty Side of Paris

I keep taking long breaks before writing a post for the blog but that doesn't matter.

I have had more than my fair share of harassment to last me a lifetime, well probably every girl living in India has had it as well. However, after going through all that back home I come to Paris, excitement of getting to learn what I love aside, I was relieved beyond imagination at the thought that I probably wouldn't have to face the perversion in men anymore. 9 months of school happened and I was pretty happy that I was right about no perversion and then came the storm, they say there is calm before storm and how true is that ! I completely convinced myself to the point where I became blissfully unaware of what was to follow next.

Internship- started my work very happy and proud of what I was doing, to be there on the stepping stone to my success. Everyday new challenges and difficulties in kitchen and every time I learn how to tackle them. I told myself that school was just a safety net and the real kitchen will not be as easy as the one at school. That anticipation of danger got me through and drove me to work hard. The kitchen is purely a physical place where the only civilized part is to create food with divinity. To expect graciousness and politeness in the kitchen is stupidity and I pretty much knew the fact. Also what I expected was for the kitchen to be filled with sexists who will look at me with contempt, decide that I do not belong among them and torch me to the point so as to demoralize me. What I did not expect was to be treated with blatant sexual innuendos and looked upon like a piece of meat ( all of which were much too familiar ) in a country where food is regarded as a God and cooking a religion.

May be I expect too much out of people, may be I think highly of people but what I do know is that if a chef treats a fellow creator with disrespect and humiliating a person to the point where they are ashamed of their own sexuality, he is not a real chef. If cooking were a religion then the kitchen is a temple ( or church or whatever ). I may be wrong but I am sure that no man in India would dare to treat a woman as a piece of meat in the presence of God. As unbelievable as it may be for few people to hear me say this I am seriously starting to think that Indian men are solid, reliable and even if they may be wayward when young they eventually grow to be wonderful men.

Independent, that I am; couldn't stand and watch being patronized by a man, that I definitely am but I have been missing the take charge attitude of men from India. No offense intended but men I have witnessed so far in Paris do not have the attitude, not a very appealing quality in a real man of course. But it is definitely entertaining to watch a man taking his place seriously. Almost a primal action to see a man even catch a cab for you, though you are perfectly capable of doing it for yourself, but when a man does it I can't help but imagine what he must be thinking ' Me Tarzan, must get Jane taxi'.

Every time I trust the world enough to let my guard down I always get burnt and boy do I burn. But one thing I have decided I am not going to put my guard up again. I am not going to stay defensive anymore, I am going to strike and strike hard, because from today I am not stopping for anyone.

Aye aye Captain

Well work finished early today, but I be phenomenally exhausted. I went two whole days without makin' any actual screw up and I be quite proud o' meself and apparently the chef be too. Work be taxin' but I love it. Few inappropriateness, a lot o' too much appropriateness and thar be this cluelessness. Arrrr

Yeah okay I was trying to speak in pirate but huge fail. Why did I attempt pirate ? Well for starters my cruelly short hair is not short enough for the people at work. I was subjected to a lot of experimenting, which includes wrapping my entire head with plastic film ( yep you read that right ) but still no avail. The plastic film actually worked but I was already in a hot kitchen that makes me sweat and a covered scalp resulted in a sticky ( and here comes the embarrassing part, rather smelly ) mane. However I got a bit delusional at a point that I was pretty much convinced I was a Mummy. So I suggested that may be I wear a bandanna or a doe-rag and I was told ' This is a kitchen not Pirates of the Caribbean' ( I still don't see the connection )

And there is so much unrefined talking going around me that I fear may be my language will get as barbaric as them. Whatever few ladylike qualities I have left are going to be plucked from me and then may be I can speak good pirate.

I was hoping that may be the men will behave more gentlemanly due to the presence of a lady but obviously I was hoping for too much. However today two men admitted that though they have no qualms in being casual ( read wrestling and etc. ) with other girls they are scared to even touch me. I did get my ego up before they could give an explanation. What I thought was that may be I was giving off my usual ' touch me and you are dead ' aura and they got it, but the actual reason was that I am delicate, fragile and they don't want to break me, mortifying; my ego deflated quicker than it inflated !

Oh well, I be goin' to sail in dreams. Sails up ! Ahoy !

Beauty and the Beast...

Been a long time since I have blogged I must say, was kinda missing all the drama that I unleash when I blog. In the days that followed after my last blog a lot of things happened, some good some bad some not even worth mentioning and some that can't be mentioned.
Well for starters I had my very own first birthday party ever ( How did it end ? Don't ask ! )
Made some solid friendship that I pray everyday to last forever
Some turbulent romances ( I am so dead when my sister reads this and relays to my mom )
Graduated ( much to my surprise since I thought my cuisine dish was horrible , pastry on the other hand is my favorite so no surprise there )
Secured an internship which hopefully will lead to a full on job
And something else truly magical that I don't really know how to explain, well its probably more like I don't want to think of the words to explain out of fear that I might miss savoring that magic for even a heartbeat. As impossible as that fantasy might be I am a dreamer after all
Sitting with the walls cocooning me while I try to recover my lost strength to return to work with full force tomorrow, I finally realized the capacity of my destructive nature that wells up when I have nothing to do.
What did I attempt do ? Well I'll never tell. But rest assured I did not pull the prank so I am not going to be exiled !
Today for some reason the uncontrollable sadness, that I felt during the period I was mourning the loss of this great man so dear to everyone who knew him, returned with shattering magnitude . I think of him everyday but today it was intense and as much as I wanted to talk to someone I did not have the strength to. Why did it return ? I do not know.
Usually whenever I am sad I go to this 'deck' near my apartment ( actually half an hour away ) and just stand and visualize the sea in front me. This secret hideout which was my solace of solitude was discovered by people eventually and was flocked. Yet whenever there are no chances of people turning up there ( for example a heavy downpour ) I go there and I must say at that minute when body recognizes the existence of soul, a warmth despite the cold rain spreads with full glory from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Sure there is a cemetery down bellow the deck but hey it is a reminder of the great circle of life ( and yes I am quoting The Lion King here ) Today however I couldn't go to my haven of peace and comfort since I am ill and there would've been a lot of people there anyway.
But still sometimes I wonder is there more to life than just this ? Will I be able to experience everything that life has intended for me ? And a vague answer creeps up saying if life weren't this beastly and mysterious it wouldn't be so beautiful !

From Barcelona to Paris...

Barcelona, well what do I say about this city ? Do I say that it reminds me so much of my home town ? Do I say lounging in the beach after 4 months brought about tranquility in me ? Do I say the city make me feel alive ? Lets just say that Barcelona is all that and much more, the view of the city in harmony with the sea took my breadth away.
Eyes refused to look away from the vibrancy of the sun though eventually they overpowered me and made me look away yet leaving me wanting more - This is what I began to write in the post I never finished while in Barcelona, a post that I titled 'Breathless in Barcelona', the post that refused to come alive due to the absence of words in my head. A week has passed since my return from Spain and I am at loss of words yet again, so I am going to settle with writing about my return to Le Cordon Bleu.
Intermediate student, sounds so strange to me, every time people call out for Basic students at the school I immediately respond, still not used to the idea that I am in intermediate right now. A strange feeling of deja vu  and yet so different, the feeling of absolute disbelief that I am a student at Le Cordon Bleu has been replaced with the feeling of ( yet again ) absolute disbelief that I am an Intermediary student at the school. Moving forward but quite not the pace I was expecting, good things come for those who wait, something that I keep telling to myself. All in vain I keep repeating it over and over but the more I repeat it the more impatient I seem to become.
Pastries to my surprise have become the love of my life, still not a dessert person but madly in love with pastries. My brain the constant questioner keeps inquiring how I could be in love with something that I don't even eat. Forbidden love perhaps ? Intermediate is bringing new things to my palate, cuisine keeps getting shunned in the corner and pastries, oh the delicate affair between puff pastry and sweet short pastry ! The fiery passion between raspberry and passion fruit ! How much more can my palate witness ? I hold my breadth in anticipation for the next pastry demo...

El Nivedha...

Yeah so I am soaking in this whole Spanish thing hence the weird title ! But I must say that I find Spain much more fascinating than France, I know people prefer France and her cities and they probably wouldn't understand why I like Spain over France but meh what the hell.
I feel Spain is a very underrated country, we did a walking tour of Madrid yesterday, a strange feeling of revisiting history classes at school but much more fun than school obviously ! Our guide had people volunteer and enact 200 years of Spanish history in a very fun way, I must say that I prefer to learn history this way than sitting in classes while everyone contemplates if they want to just go for it and sleep on the desk or practice the art of sleeping with eyes open.
Now lets talk about food shall we ? After having eaten food loaded with butter with a side of butter in Paris, the explosion of flavors on my tongue is something that I am enjoying right now. After being told by the guide that there is a bar which gives free food for every beer we order it was obvious where we would be going for dinner that night. The tapas that we got for the beer were infused with Spanish flavors that I couldn't help but think that I am Spanish !
The very first day in Madrid we went to a cafe and the waiter forgot to pass on our order to the kitchen and I was super hungry, after the cafe people realized the mistake they gave us free accompaniment with our food, now how is that for a little Spanish hospitality ?
Then we went to San Miguel market which was just food paradise ! The food you get there simply makes you wonder how you managed to survive all these years without having gotten to sample them ! From the succulent Gulas, a fish indigenous to the Northern Spain to the Paella and some sangria for 2 euros ! While I have seen most of the Parisians getting done with dinner at 8 or something, Spanish people start their day at 10 in the night. From what I have noticed the Spanish are more laid back and have a much more philosophical approach to life than the French who seem to be stuck up perfectionists, not that there is anything wrong in being a perfectionist.
My typical day in Madrid starts off by waking up to the considerate noise that my roommates make and after a shower go down to the common room and feast on some churros loaded with oil and sprinkled with sugar, walk around Madrid and gobble anything that looks remotely interesting whenever I feel hungry, walk around more only to feel so exhausted that we come back to hostel and I take a nice long nap and get woken up just in time for dinner and come back to the hostel after dinner just when the entire city is prepping for a long and fun night !
Long story short, I like Madrid better than Paris !

Goals and success....

It's examination time and everyone is busy studying and practicing and what not.
Blindly memorizing has never been my style but if I don't I might be losing marks, so in a bit of a dilemma right now! I look around and see that everyone has the pressure to perform well, I look at myself and think of all that has been sacrificed so that I can be here, doing what gives me happiness and I can feel the pressure too. But this pressure as much as it should be pushing me to perform is also bringing me down, because all that is in my head is to do well and that naturally develops a fear in me, which is preventing me from doing anything. Examinations in 2 days and I've got to conquer the fear first.

I have been questioned on why I chose to do this and I have been answering that cooking is what I have always loved doing, that is definitely true. I don't want to do something just because I happen to be good at it, I want to do it because I love doing it and I am happy doing it, being good at it is just secondary.

I have read a lot of books trying to explain the true nature and meaning of success, a lot of people seeking the ultimate truth about success. To add to the confusion of the never ending quest about the truth of success I am going to state my interpretation of success. For me success is about being happy doing what you love, I know I will be successful when I do something I love and I'll know I have accomplished a great deal in life when I am happy !

Latitude, Longitude and Altitude with a smidgen of Attitude !

First off, I am sorry I tried to make the title as attractive as possible !

Three months in the City of Lights I have been doing nothing but cooking and baking. No sight seeing, no soaking in culture, no nothing ! Three months I have been learning only about cooking and a little bit about life. But there is something I realized today, not only have I been learning how to cook at school, I have also been learning the rich Geographical diversity of France ! Every dish they teach they pose a question asking where the dish is from and they immediately take out this huge map of France and start explaining about the region to us and the other things the region is famous for. I have to say something if I can say something I think I am much better in French Geography than my own country's. Well there is nothing to complain since Geography was one of my favorite subjects at school . But what amuses me the most is that every chef seems to be proud of the region that they are from and when the dish that they cook is from their region they immediately become super excited, like little children ! The pride and the attitude that they have about their region is extremely amusing but also touching I must say. I can see the pressure for them to perform, I mean obviously when you are cooking something from your region it is expected to be really good and of course they cook it really well.

Every time I learn new things when it comes to Geography, I mean I seem to remember the region and the products exclusively from those regions better than the quantity of flour in Gateau Basque or the cooking time of rice "au gras". It is good to have knowledge in things generally, you know when you talk about your dish it will be nice to talk about the region of origin and other factors of the region, but remembering the geography of regions isn't going to help me out much in practical examinations if I don't remember the quantity of ingredients and quality of cooking as such ! So here's hoping that I can remember everything that I am supposed to remember for the exams and do well in it...